Why oh why, does he have to wear those t-shirts?


I met The Husband back in 2003, gosh 11 years. More worrying: 10 years of not putting things back where they belong, 10 years of football (which I now enjoy, apart from England’s shall we say ‘lack of effort’ recently!), 10 years of hairs in the bath, 10 years of dishes in the sink or on the side but not in the dishwasher, 10 years of stroppy shopping (hates shopping), 10 years of him sleeping like a log and waking me snoring, 10 years of DIY – no comment, 10 years of telling me I talk too much, 10 years of me feeling like a nuisance for needing sun cream on, 10 years of Grumpy Bum mornings (I am not allowed to speak!), most importantly 10 years of loving him…a little anyway.

I noticed he seemed to have a liking for slogan t-shirts, they were mild at first but over the years they have got worse. One I recall is ‘I like you, I’m going to kill you last’. This does not seem too bad in comparison to ‘I have the body of a god, shame its a Buddha’. Which is amusing because he has, but it is also a little over that fine line, because it takes the pee out of someone’s beliefs.

Last night though, was the be all and end all of the t-shirt wearing looks, smirks and disgust. We went to ASDA, I frowned when he came downstairs in a bright yellow t-shirt with a slogan on. I gave him the look but he just laughed. When we got to ASDA he wondered off to look for some shorts for the holiday. I happened to look up and see this oldish chap talking to him. The Husband had his back to him, he turned round and said something. The man walked away and looked quite upset. As the man approached me I said: ‘I keep telling him not to wear those t-shirts’ and shook my head. To this The Man replied ‘Yes, but I am a Christian’. I was so embarrassed and apologised to the man. The conversation between them went like this:-

The Man: Yes I know, what church do you go to ?

The Husband: I don’t mate

The Man: What do you mean, your t-shirt ?

The Husband: You need to read the rest of it

The Man: Stooped forward and read out loud ‘But I think you’re a oh’

That was the end of the conversation, the t-shirt says in big bold black letter ‘JESUS LOVES YOU’ in small letters underneath ‘But I think you’re a prick’.

Needless to say I was quite horrified because this is the Man’s belief. I can see if it was in a comedy sketch on tv it would be very funny, but in real life it is a little below the belt. The Husband – well I better not give his reaction, I may get some hate blogging. He did say that he stopped himself from saying ‘And my work here is done’. Which makes me feel naughty for finding it amusing….that fine line again!

I think I may boil the said t-shirt at 90 degrees! I apologise to the old man for the offence caused.

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